One day our babies will be grown. When they will fly, I will look back at my life. You will succeed in your career. Your two kids will be married earlier than mine. Mine will still study. All of them will be big enough, strong enough and built enough to face Life by their own. I will sit with my husband. We will talk about the time saying how fast it is flying -as our grown babies. We will feel wiser from all our mistakes. But I’m not sure we will surely be. We will look back at our experiences and will remember some stories, emotional failures and professional success. We will lost some of family members and gain a very few friends. We will remember our trips and people we met along. Then I will remember you. I will not remember exact places and dates. But I will remember I missed you. From your side, you will look at your wife, proud for having succeeded where you failed a first time. Between the two women, you will remember me.
When our babies will be grown, we will judge and ask ourselves if we did right. We will blame ourselves for our mistakes and missed opportunities. We will wonder « what if… ». When you will look at your wife and I will look at my husband, we won’t regret. Because they will be the ones who have brought what we didn’t bring to each other. Maybe, we will regret what we said. We will have distance and time to judge ourselves and give value to the other one. I will wonder where you are, who is making you happy and if you have found yourself. No, we won’t regret, we won’t be sad. Because the time we decided to separate, we were sure. Time is working well and will make us forgive and forget. When our babies will be grown, I won’t find in their eyes your gaze; you won’t tell them how much they look like me. Maybe for twenty years, we will have though of each other at rare and specific occasions.
When our babies will be grown, we will physically change, we will move habits and places. Our lives will be full of cumbersome events and joys we haven’t shared. We will be so far from each other by heart, mind, time and distance. When our babies will let us, we will feel old. At this time, when I will remember you, I won’t want you to see me but to know I will be the same.
If by impossible chance we will meet, you will ask about my kids thinking they are not yours. I will ask about yours thinking they are not mine.
One day we will be old.
Zyphera 